Hi, at some point of your life all you want to do is just ditch your mobile phone, isolate yourself and slap each and every person who come and say hi to you. It happens! And it is happening with me right now. And it becomes pretty much hard to explain in one line that why the hell I don’t want to talk to anyone. So, I am writing this whole big letter to explain why I don’t want to talk to anyone. May this help to answer your question which I am afraid to explain! Instead of judging me and giving me a lecture about being strong, can you please be polite and just tell me how awesome I am. Please? Ok, here we go….
#Reason 1 because I am sad
Yeah, I am sad, because things are not going as I expected. My life has resulted completely opposite as I dreamed it off. I am not doing a job which I wanted to. I have lost my best friend with whom I shared each and every emotion, with whom I spend some really hahaha moments, some really supportive and motivated actions. And one day we fought and she left me! I am sad because I have master degree and still some of my relatives brought me Rishta for guys, one of them is drunkard, one of them is rickshawala, one of them has no reputation in town as he had many affairs and one of his affair was with married woman (that married woman had love marriage even though this guy and she had affair I mean like why??) Anyways, the point is you have no idea how heartbreaking it is to get Rishta like this for you when you are perfectly eligible for having a handsome, rich, gentleman type guy! Let me answer some of your questions.
Am I ugly? Nope, Not at all.
Do I have a bad reputation in town? No ways.
Am I poor? Yes, I am not rich. (Maybe that’s why)
OK, move on to other reasons
Why I don’t want to talk to anyone
#Reason 2 because I am not in mood to get any harsh comment
I know you can’t get sweet sugary words always! But Dude, just look at me. I am sad, upset I am already cursing myself and telling myself that you are stupid, dumbass, idiot and good for nothing. Why do you need to add some topping by giving harsh comments and laughing at me? I have failed in an interview I am already feeling law. And at this stage, I don’t want my colleagues to laugh at me that “haha how’s your interview? What did you fail? Hahaha, you are an idiot.” “Which post it was? What back office? So low profile job!” “Hey, my mom is ill and we are searching for a maid, would you like to do zhaadu pota of my house?” (Because the job you applied for interview was low profile according to them)
Why guys??? You are my colleagues. You are my friends. At this low phase of my life, you supposed to cheer me up by saying that don’t worry, we know you are talented and you will get a better job. And what you are doing? Laughing at me??
Now, would I love to talk to you? Or anyone else??
#reason 3 trying to collect pieces of thoughts.
I don’t want to talk to anyone because I just want to be with my thoughts. There is a billion thoughts are running in my mind. Dark memories of past, acidic comments I got, my ex saying me that you are good for nothing and you will never get love in life. That pundit ji saying this girl will never get love from his husband, every person I lost with whom I was really attached. Everything running in my mind like movie roll…flashbacks…
Some good thoughts... like how to improve me? What are the mistakes I did which are making me unsuccessful? How to correct those imperfections. What I need to Be Better? I don’t want to talk to anyone that doesn’t mean I am coward, over thinking, or weak.
I just want to put together all the thoughts running in my mind. Just sit and watch all darkens dance. And get over it with the stronger version of me! :)
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